When they were republished by Walker Books in the mid-to-late nineties, all three of the original Diamond Brothers books by Anthony Horowitz were rewritten for various reasons -- outdated and offensive content, trying to bring certain elements originally written in the mid-1980s up to date, because one of them was tying in with a TV series and thus contained material which was originally in that series but didn't translate well to prose. My two, arguably three, previous efforts have covered the differences between the different versions of The Falcon's Malteser and South by South East (plus a follow-up to the latter, comparing the two different editions to the TV series, here); now we finish things off with the second entry in the series, Public Enemy No. 2 -- the only one of the three original entries not to be adapted for film or TV, which has been put down to its violent nature and unfilmable climax involving a bomb, the River Thames and Isambard Kingdom Brunel's abandoned first attempt at the Thames Tunnel.
The picture at the top of this post is the original 1987 cover; only one subsequent UK reprint featured the original version of the text, the obscure 1991 Lion Books edition. In fact, those 1991 editions (reprinting the first two books in the series and publishing South by South East for the first time, tying into the broadcast of the SBSE TV series) were so obscure that, as far as I can tell, this blog has been the first place on the Internet ever to post images of what they look like. For our third and final exclusive, then, I am very proud to present the cover of the 1991 edition of Public Enemy No. 2:
So, then, if your copy of the book looks like either of those you have the original text. All Walker Books editions, published from 1997 onwards, feature the revised version... and here comes my comparison of the two.
Chapter 1: French Dictation
A pretty big general change from the very first line: In 1987, Nick's new French teacher is named Noel Harvey St John Palis. In the 1997 edition, his name becomes the rather more sensible Peregrine Palis.
When Snape is describing Johnny Powers' first robbery, aged eight, in the original version he got away with "four crates of Mars bars and a ton of sherbert", but the 1997 version updates this to "four crates of Mars bars and a barrel of Lucozade". "A ton of sherbert" was felt to be a drugs reference, possibly. A few paragraph later, the crime for which Powers was finally arrested last year was stealing "a million pounds of mink", but the rewrite changes this to the less specific "million pounds' worth of designer clothes". This then leads to the following deletion not long after:
"Every year a mountain of stuff goes missing. Mink coats. Silver candlesticks. Scotch whisky. Japanese hi-fi. You name it, somebody's stolen it."
The international master criminal known only as "the Fence" is stated by Snape to have links with "every gang this side of the Iron Curtain" in 1987; since this reference obviously doesn't date very well, in 1997 it's changed to "this side of the Atlantic".
Chapter 2: The Purple Peacock
At the start of this chapter, an entire page recapping the events of The Falcon's Malteser is cut from the 1997 revision, and is a bit too much to type out here. Sorry.
But we now move on to one of the most fascinating changes of all. TFM consistently referred to Tim by his real name, Herbert, throughout, but until someone (i.e. me) actually thought to get a hold of the 1987 printing of this book and write about the changes, it was thought by everywhere (including, at time of writing, the books' pages on Wikipedia and TV Tropes) that every other book in the series always called him Tim Diamond (after establishing his real name is Herbert and Tim is just the name he uses for his detective agency). Well, it doesn't. The original 1987 text of PEN2 always calls him Herbert, too. So the idea of calling him by his stage name was actually introduced by South by South East, and is hence most likely a change originated in the 1991 TV series that was later retroactively introduced into the books, for the Walker editions of PEN2 change every mention of 'Herbert' to 'Tim', as well as changing various mentions of 'Simple' (applying to both brothers) to 'Diamond'.
I can't say for sure why TFM was left alone in this regard, but it is possibly related to the fact that a fairly important plot point in that book is that one character knows his real name is Herbert when they've only met him as Tim.
Anyway, next up, an error is inexplicably introduced in the Walker edition -- the original has the line "Tea that day was going to be beans on toast" (which makes sense), which is changed in the revision to "Tea that day turned out to be beans on toast" (which doesn't).
After Nick reads the letter from his parents in Australia, we get a deletion, shortly followed by an odd thing to want to rewrite but hey ho:
It made me sad, reading the letter. She'd just adopted a new baby -- a sister I'd never seen. She didn't care about me any more. She had a new life. Worse still, she hadn't sent me any money. Three pairs of underpants! Maybe I'd be able to trade them in for another tin of beans.
I felt sorry for Dora. If she could have seen what lay ahead of her, she'd have probably toddled back to the orphanage.
1987 version | 1997 version |
I slipped the letter into a drawer and went back downstairs. By now there was a strange smell in the flat. Any smell that wasn't baked beans would have been strange -- and my mouth was watering before I even knew what it was. I stopped on the stairs and sniffed. Fried onions? I hurried into the kitchen. | I threw the letter into a drawer and went into the kitchen. Even as I opened the door I realised there was a strange smell in the flat. Any smell that wasn't baked beans would have been strange but this...? Either I was going mad (from hunger) or this was fried onions. |
Similar to the Fat Man's name change in TFM, the vase Tim has been employed to find is "the purple peacock" in 1987, and "the Purple Peacock" in 1997; later mentions in the '87 edition also use the latter. We also get one of the now familiar changes of measurement (the vase is described as nine inches high in the original, thirty centimetres in the rewrite). Next:
1987 version | 1997 version |
"It's fifteenth century. Made for the Emperor Cheng-Hua." "Cheng who?" I asked. "No. Cheng-Hua. A Chinese orange." He looked at the notebook again. "I mean, a Chinese mandarin. Anyway, he was a big-wig. And he had this vase made." "Is it valuable?" "Valuable?" He leant back in his chair, spilling wine down his shirt. | "It's fifteenth century. Made for the Emperor Cheng-Hua." "Cheng who?" I asked. "No. Cheng-Hua." He leant back in his chair, spilling Coke down his shirt. |
There are many good reasons for the deletion, not least the incorrect use of the word "mandarin". Tim is drinking wine at supper in the original, but all mentions of this are changed to Coke in the rewrite -- possibly to avoid promoting drinking, but Coke does seem to be more in character to me anyway. There is then a paragraph deleted shortly after where Tim explains he got the job because Aunty Maureen, who knows one of the security guards, recommended him; both versions have the explanation that the museum went to him to because they wanted to avoid a big scandal, which works well enough anyway.
In the original version, Tim's fees are a hundred in advance plus ten pounds a day in expenses; this is changed to two hundred in advance plus fifty pounds a day in expenses in 1997. Another paragraph about how Nick has been thinking all week about how to ask Tim for the money for the school trip, presumably felt to be redundant, is then cut in 1997; in the original version, Tim complains about having to pay on the grounds that it's a whole half-day's expenses, which is cut since his rates are so much higher in 1997.
Chapter 3: Woburn Abbey
One of the two teachers on the school trip is called Snelgrove in the original, but Roberts in the rewrite. This will not be the last time a very minor character's name is changed for no apparent reason.
This chapter is significantly shortened by several pages in the 1997 edition, mostly concerned with taking out a lot of the school's progress through the stately home, and simplifying Nick's attempted escape from the police so he gets out quicker rather than getting into the parts of the abbey off-limits to the public. All this is again too much to write out here in full, but I'll highlight one paragraph that goes missing in the updated version:
And what I didn't know was that every step I took, every minute that dragged past was carrying me closer to a horrible nightmare. Palis was wrong. Compared with what was about to happen, Woburn Abbey really was a funfair.
Chapter 4: Trial and Error
This chapter has again been shortened in places -- there are plenty of little deletions, but here's a big, plot-relevant one:
The last prosecution witness was a complete surprise. Noel Harvey St John Palis took the oath and strutted into the witness box where he stood with his pot belly pressing against the wood. Even more surprising were the things he said about me. I'd figured he'd take the opportunity to add a bit to my sentence. After all, he'd always liked long sentences in dictation. But in fact he described me as hard-working, intelligent and honest. He said he was amazed by my crimes. True, he'd spoilt it all by adding that there could be no doubt of my guilt. But it's the thought that counts.
It's hard to see why Horowitz chose to cut a decent piece of foreshadowing for later on, but the net effect of how shortened this chapter is is to drive home the point that Nick's case is an open-and-shut one. There's also another name-change -- Nick's counsel for the defence is Garrod in the original, Wilson in the rewrite.
Amongst the other more significant deletions are the removal of Aunty Maureen's one and only actual appearance, as a witness for the defence, and a description of Nick and Tim's meeting between his arrest and the trial (which also cuts a nice call-back to The Falcon's Malteser). Also, for some reason Nick's middle name is David in the original, but Martin in the revision, and "trespass" remains on the list of charges in the revision despite the fact the shortening of the previous chapter arguably removed the reason for the charge.
Finally, right at the end of the chapter there's a massive cut, amounting to an entire page and a half cut out; in the original, Nick is taken from his medical examination to the governor's office before being taken to his cell, but in the rewrite he goes straight to his cell without meeting the governor. Much of the cut removes Nick worrying about his eighteen-month sentence, which given subsequent events Horowitz may have decided felt redundant. One of the more notable pop-culture references that is edited out in the 1997 edition is Nick worrying he's going to miss "seventy-two episodes of The A-Team"; a reference that was already pretty out of date when the book was originally published!
Chapter 5: Johnny Powers
In the original version, Powers is described as smoking a cigarette; in the rewrite, this and other references are changed to chewing liquorice (which, for whatever reason, is consistently misspelled as "licquorice" in my printing; later copies may have fixed it); maybe a fifteen-year-old, no matter how evil, smoking crossed the line for Walker. Nick introduces himself as Simple in 1987, but Diamond in 1997.
When Nick gets back to his cell from his meeting with Snape and Boyle, in the rewrite a reference to Powers rolling a cigarette is left alone... except it's now a chocolate cigarette. Nick also says the police "just wanted to ask him some more questions" in the revision, rather than being told that he might be facing more charges as in the original (which does seem a better excuse as to why the police would be talking to him again so soon after he got into prison, but oh well).
Chapter 6: Inside...
(Ellipsis present only in the original version.)
This is another heavily streamlined chapter, without about two pages describing Nick's daily routine in prison taken out; some of it seems to be to tighten up the pace, but we do lose a nice line about Nick not being sure what day it is any more. We also lose an entire character -- the guy in the cell next to Nick and Powers, who's memorised the flight paths of the planes flying over the prisons. This is presumably meant to be how Powers' would-be killers in this chapter know to time their murder so the noise of the plane will drown it out, and also how Powers can plan his escape later on, but for whatever reason he isn't mentioned during these parts, so it's easy enough to cut him out.
In the shower scene, the three criminals are named Mark White, Mark Hards and Zuckie Hommel (which even the narration describes as "unlikely") in the original, but Mark White, McNeil and Blondie in the rewrite. There's also some other bits I'm struggling to see a reason for getting cut -- when Nick realises they're planning to kill Powers, he wonders if Snape would relent and pull him out if Powers gets killed, and when Powers starts talking whilst Nick starts to put his escape plan into action Nick wonders if Powers has somehow guessed what's going on. There's also this paragraph, which apart from actually answering what happens in the aftermath of the incident, is setting something up for later on:
Later I heard that White and Hards had taken the rap for destroying the showers. They both got one month's solitary and the removal of all privileges. Hommel ended up in the prison hospital. He hadn't been pretty to begin with but after his steam shower the only job he'd be getting would be in a horror film. Powers and I were questioned but we just played dumb. White was in no position to be telling stories.
Chapter 7: ...Out!
(Allow me to reiterate.)
A reference to Hommel being released on parole is deleted, but apart from a few minor alterations and a paragraph about Nick worrying about what happens if Tim doesn't turn up for the break-out, this chapter is largely the same in both versions.
Chapter 8: Over the Wall
Chapter 9: Wapping Lies
Apart from two small dialogue deletions in chapter 8 to speed up the pace of the prison breakout, and another one from Nick and Tim's conversation in the second, these chapters are more or less untouched by the rewrite.
Chapter 10: Vanishing Act
Both versions make clear that Nick is still wearing the same trousers and shoes from Strangeday Hall, but the 1987 version has the following lines: "It was just as well I kept those shoes. I didn't know it then, but they were going to save my life." Presumably deleted for not being subtle enough (the shoes have a tracking device hidden in them); note that Horowitz used a very similar idea, with even more care than the rewrite to avoid drawing attention to it, in one of the Alex Rider books.
If you were wondering, Tim's "Big Tim" act is indeed "Big Herb" in the original, and there's a paragraph or two deleted to tone it down somewhat (when Nick tries to talk him out of it, he grabs him by the collar, and when they get back to their room Nick asks him if he's gone mad).
Another reference to cigarettes is removed -- when Nick decides to leave to follow Powers to his meeting, Tim asks him what he should say if the others ask where he's gone, and in the original he says to tell them he's gone out for some cigarettes ("But Nick... you don't smoke!" "Then tell them it was chocolate cigarettes"), but in the rewrite it's just "for a walk" -- which is a shame, as in the context that Powers has ordered them not to leave the house until he gets back, the former is considerably less lame an excuse. Finally, when Nick gets to the tube station the description of the place has been altered to make it less dated, and shorten Nick's time on the railway tracks (concerns over imitable behaviour, possibly).
Chapter 11: Big Ed
Apart from a shortening of the description of the titular villain's hideout in two converted train carriages near Clapham Junction (in the original Nick briefly looks into the other carriage, he doesn't in the rewrite), and one of the thugs' tattoos changing from a tarantula to a scorpion for some reason, the most interesting edit here is that in 1987 Big Ed expressly tells Nick where the hideout is for no better reason than Nick can later tip the police off; in 1997 this paragraph is deleted, and a later mention of Clapham Junction when Nick is being taken to be tied to the railway line is changed so it's Nick realising where he is. This chapter is otherwise pretty much the same, but the payoff for Blondie/Hommel is here -- he was Big Ed's nephew, which is why Ed has a score to settle with Nick, but that plot is less strongly foreshadowed in the 1997 edit.
Chapter 12: Off the Rails
An interesting deletion, possibly removed for religious reasons:
I think I muttered a prayer. Personally I don't believe in God. The way things had been going recently it looked as if God didn't personally believe in me. But either way, better safe than sorry...
The first train doesn't actually run over Nick, because the points get changed before it can do so, and this encounter is cut down a bit. The description of Nick's mysterious saviour who unties him from the railway tracks is also cut down a bit, presumably because the original was felt to belabour the point:
The train went past, travelling between me and my mysterious rescuer. By the time it had gone and the tracks were clear once again, he had vanished. Who was he? And why hadn't he hung around to let me thank him? Broad shoulders and fair hair. None of Big Ed's men answered to that description. But nobody else could have possibly known I was there.
The contents of the barrels Nick uses to light his signal to the police is specified as kerosene in 1987; it isn't in the rewrite. Whilst Nick sets up his little plan, there's a paragraph designed to heighten the tension where he almost drops one of the barrels and is too frightened to move until he's sure nobody heard which is cut in the revision.
Chapter 13: World's End
Nick's journey from Clapham Junction to Chelsea is heavily altered in the '97 rewrite, most notably losing the explanation of how he knows where Palis lives (he had to deliver a late piece of homework there once, which is presumably not something done any more by 1997 -- in that version Nick just happens to know without any explanation). The location of Palis' flat is also substantially rewritten, changing from a council flat above a row of shops to a posh apartment in a private block.
I haven't been able to transcribe a lot of the deleted or changed material from the original version this time, because there's simply too much of it. But the description of the inside of Palis' flat really needs to be done this way:
1987 version | 1997 version |
It was exactly the sort of place you'd expect a French teacher to live, right down to the model of the Eiffel Tower on the mantlepiece. There was a table piled high with books -- French classics, art books and exercise pads from school. There was even a notice-board just like the one outside the staff room, displaying the same sort of information -- local theatre programmes, lesson time-tables... that sort of thing. Palis was neat and organized but he wasn't rich. The carpet was nylon. The furniture looked second-hand. He lived alone. Somehow I knew without asking. | I found myself in a comfortable room with copies of paintings by Rubens and Picasso on the walls. The carpet was so thick my foot almost disappeared when I walked and the lighting was low and soft. I'd expected to see some sign of school -- French books or homework or something -- but there was nothing. Maybe he kept his work in another room. |
There's then a big deletion, where Palis goes into the kitchen to get tea and biscuits, and Nick thumbs through the exercise pads whilst he's waiting; their conversation is continuous in the 1997 version as a result of this cut. But Horowitz is clearly trying to play down Palis' true nature as the real villain of the piece in the original -- maybe he decided later on he'd been too subtle?
Chapter 14: Doorway to Hell
The early part of this chapter, before Nick discovers the bomb, is truncated (a shame, since it has quite an effective atmosphere); once he does find the bomb, there are two dialogue changes (a removal of Nick threatening to leave Tim there, and the brothers' dialogue when Nick says he's going to defuse it ("I don't believe you!" "Nor do I," in the original, "But where is the fuse?" "I don't know," in the rewrite). (At the beginning, when it's mentioned Palis brought Nick some new clothes before driving him back to Wapping, the '87 version specifies Nick still has his prison shoes, whereas the '97 one only says Palis brought him a new shirt and trousers.)
Chapter 15: Penelope
After an extended stretch where the 1997 version is unchanged, when the Brothers get on board the Penelope, the sign that Powers was there is a cigarette paper in the original, but the wrapping from a packet of liquorice in the rewrite. Later, when the Brothers are waiting for Powers, Tim asks Nick if prison was really as bad as their current situation and Nick considers handing himself in for a moment, but the conversation is interrupted by events; in the revision, Tim only has time to say "Nick...?" before he's interrupted. (Another scene I think it's a shame to lose, personally.)
Chapter 16: Underground
When Nick returns to the tube station, as with before his journey onto the tracks to find the secret passageway is simplified so he spends less time on the tracks. Then we have a couple of interesting changes. After Tim accidentally stumbles across the way of opening the secret door:
1987 version | 1997 version |
"And you opened it when you twisted the tap. You're brilliant!" Herbert smiled and for just one moment Tim Diamond, private detective, had returned and was standing there admiring his own handiwork. "Just leave it to me, kid," he drawled. "I told you I'd look after you." I flicked the torch on and moved forward. "Come on, then," I said. Tim Diamond evaporated. "We're not going in, are we?" he whimpered. We went in. | "And you opened it when you twisted the tap. You're brilliant!" Tim smiled. "Just leave it to me, kid," he drawled. "I told you I'd look after you." There were three torches hanging on the wall on the other side of the door. I took one of them and flicked it on. "Come on then," I said. "We're not going in, are we?" "Of course we are! Don't you want to see where this leads?" "No!" We went in. |
In the '87 edition Nick found a torch on the floor earlier, but that reference was deleted in '97. The changes here suggest Tim Diamond is more than just a stage name but a persona Herbert hides behind; I think I find the original more interesting, but it had to go when Horowitz decided to retroactively make Tim his usual name. It also occurs to me now that the original versions couldn't really be called "the Diamond Brothers" books, since only Tim uses the name, and only as the name of his detective agency!
When Nick discovers the treasure trove of stolen goods in the tunnel, a reference to two Rembrandts and a Picasso has been deleted in the 1997 version -- presumably a reactive change to the earlier alterations to Palis' apartment, to avoid things looking too obvious. There's only one other change in the chapter, right at the end:
"After I've finished with ya, ya'll wish ya'd never been born."
"Like you?" I said. "You weren't born, Powers. You were hatched."
I should have saved the wise-cracks. His fist cracked into the side of my head. "I'll tear you apart piece by piece," he said. "Nobody crosses Johnny Powers and gets away with it."
He turned on his heels and strode out of the room. The door banged shut and I heard a key being turned and two bolts being drawn across. Then there was silence.
My head was ringing and I could already feel the bruise where he'd hit me. But I'd had to get him angry. I had to keep his attention. Because there was one thing he hadn't noticed.
We were tied up, locked in and on our own. But there was one thing nobody had noticed:
My back-pack/my backpack had been torn off my shoulders and flung into one corner of the room. Nobody had thought to examine it. It was still there.
And the bomb was still inside.
Chapter 17: Under Water / Underwater
(Two words in the 1987 version, one word in the 1997 version.)
There are two minor changes -- after the bomb goes off, a rather good line about how Tim's hair is now all over the place, and not just on his head, is deleted, and Nick saying the bomb has "cured his cold" is changed to the more sensible "unblocked his nose" -- before we get to one of the big changes to the whole book:
1987 version | 1997 version |
Nails Nathan was almost on top of me when I found it. It must have been stolen from some fancy antique shop. A medieval crossbow complete with bolt. It wasn't quite the weapon I'd had in mind, but it would do. It had a sort of ratchet with a lever to arm it. I pulled it back, then loaded the bolt. Nails was moving more cautiously now. I crouched down behind a marble table, waiting to get him in my sights. The [sic] suddenly there he was, looking up in front of me. He brought the machine gun round. I squeezed the trigger. The crossbow jerked. So did Nails. The bolt hit him in the chest. He keeled over backwards. At the same time, he fired the machine gun. But now it was pointing upwards. A chandelier tore itself apart, the crystals ricocheting off the walls. Nails slumped and lay still. I lowered the cross-bow. It looked like his acne wouldn't be troubling him any more. But this was no time for self-congratulations. | Nails Nathan was almost on top of me when I found it. It must have been stolen from some fancy antique shop. A medieval crossbow complete with bolt. It wasn't quite the weapon I'd had in mind, but it would do. It had a sort of ratchet with a lever to arm it. I pulled it back, then loaded the bolt. Nails was moving more cautiously now. I crouched down behind a marble table, waiting to get him in my sights. Then suddenly there he was, looking up in front of me. He brought the machine gun round. I squeezed the trigger. The crossbow jerked in my hands and to my dismay the bolt missed him by miles, shooting over his left shoulder. Nails smiled. The bolt hit a pillar and ricocheted upwards. Nails glanced up and screamed. The bolt had severed the wire of a chandelier, a huge thing that must have come out of some palace. The chandelier plummeted down and Nails disappeared in an explosion of light bulbs and glittering crystals. But this was no time for self-congratulations. |
So yeah, in the original version our 13-year-old protagonist commits cold-blooded murder (in self-defence, but still), and it's never brought up again after it happens. This book already has a reputation for being impossible to adapt for film or TV because of its high violence level, even before this change was known about!
Anyway, another villain gets spared by the '97 rewrite shortly after, thanks to this deletion:
The Titanic must have looked a bit like this with furs and jewellery floating in the icy water. And bodies. Johnny Powers drifted past. He was floating face-down.
A few lines later, the danger level goes down in the revision:
"This way, laddy," Snape said.
I grabbed Herbert and together we were pulled through the water towards the metal grill. Even now the danger wasn't over. In another few seconds the whole gallery would go under. One of the walls was bulging. The water was building up for a second wave. The fires had gone out but the smoke was still curling across the littered surface.
I was too exhausted to do anything for myself any more.
1987 version | 1997 version |
"This had better work," Snape muttered. He pushed the green button. I heard another roar as the second deluge began. The water leapt up at us. But at the same time the whole platform moved, sliding upwards into blackness. | "This had better work," Snape muttered. He pushed the green button. There was a whirr of machinery and the platform began to move, sliding upwards into blackness. |
There is also the following substantial rewrite worth highlighting:
1987 version | 1997 version |
For the past hour all sorts of treasures had been floating to the surface, only to be caught and taken away for identification. And they weren't the only things to fall into the police net. So far seven of the Fence's gang had made it out, using the staircase that led into the tube station. Ma Powers had been the last to emerge, her face blank, her eyes glassy. By the time she got out of prison she would be Great Grandmother Powers. Strangely enough, I almost felt sorry for her. She'd only been looking after her boy. Which was more than my mother had ever done for me. Only the Fence had escaped. That was the worst of it. He hadn't been in the underground complex at the time and it was unlikely now that he would show up. | For the past hour all sorts of treasures had been floating to the surface, only to be caught and taken away for identification. And they weren't the only things to fall into the police net. Ma Powers had been arrested, trying to escape through the station, and now she was being bundled into a police van. By the time she got out of jail, she'd be Great-grandma Powers and do you know, I almost felt sorry for her? After all, she'd only been looking after her boy. Which was more than my mother had ever done for me. Johnny Powers and Nails Nathan were never found. Maybe they both drowned but I have a feeling they both got away. It's certainly true that later that day two Japanese tourists got knocked out at the Thames Barrier and woke up minus their clothes, cameras, air tickets and credit cards. Maybe that was the two of them and maybe even now they're out there, continuing their life of crime in Tokyo. If so -- I just hope they stay there. But the worst of it was that it had all been for nothing. We hadn't got the Fence. He hadn't been in the underground complex at the time and it was unlikely now that he would show up. |
There's one or two other small trims and changes here; in the original, when Tim arrives after Snape's explanation Nick calls him Herbert and he corrects him to "Tim," since this has been "Tim Diamond's greatest case", which is obviously removed in the rewrite.
The following deletion is also worth highlighting:
"So how come you weren't killed?" I asked. "I saw you... in the car."
Snape paused, suddenly serious for a moment. "That was a close call," he admitted. "We never expected Powers to break out of Strangeday Hall. When we heard what was happening -- and that you were with him -- we came along to see what we could do. Then, when we hit that telephone box..."
He took a deep breath.
"I was lucky. I was in the back seat. The door was ripped off and I was thrown clear just before the car blew. The driver managed to get out too. Then we went back and got Boyle."
The deleted material is contradicted in the following chapter (when Nick realises that Palis is the Fence, in his summation he says that Snape must have guessed Powers would break out of Strangeday Hall); to me, it reads like the 1987 version's intent was that Snape is lying about this, so maybe Horowitz had forgotten his original intention when he decided to cut it out ten years on?
Chapter 18: French Translation
When Nick realises Palis is the Fence:
1987 version | 1997 version |
I'd seen art books in his flat too. I'd obviously caught him doing his own homework. And I'd cooked my goose the moment I'd walked in there. For once I'd been unfair to Herbert. He hadn't blown it with Johnny Powers. I had. I'd told Palis everything, blurting it all out before he had time to reveal himself to me. Because that was what he was going to do. When he'd saved me from the police, he'd said there was a reason -- and the reason was because he'd thought I was on his side. If I'd only kept my mouth shut, he would have told me everything. But like a fool, I'd delivered myself to him on a plate. No wonder he'd been in a hurry to leave Wapping the next morning. He'd known about the bomb because he'd telephoned Powers the night before. I'd even heard the tinkle of the bell in my dreams. Poor old Herbert had been dragged out of his bed on my account. Palis had cold-bloodedly arranged it all. He'd driven me there knowing that it was the last journey I'd ever make... at least, in one piece. But still I could have guessed. In the underground gallery, Powers had accused me of working for the police. Even if he had seen through Herbert's disguise there was no way he could have known that. Herbert certainly hadn't told him. Nor had I. That left only one person, the only other person who knew. | Then there was his flat -- the expensive flat in Chelsea. I'd wondered how he could afford it. And the paintings! I'd seen what I'd assumed to be copies of Picassos on the wall. But I'd been wrong. They'd been the real thing! I'd blown it from the moment I walked in there. Palis had rescued me from the police because he thought I was on his side. And once I was in the flat he'd been about to tell me everything. Thank you for rescuing me... Well, I had a good reason... He'd been about to tell me that he was the Fence but before he could speak I had ruined everything. I had told him I was working for the police and had sealed my own fate. No wonder he'd been in a hurry to leave Wapping the next morning. He'd known about the bomb because he'd telephoned Powers the night before. I'd even heard the tinkle of the bell in my dreams. Poor old Tim had been dragged out of his bed on my account. Palis had cold-bloodedly arranged it all. He'd driven me there knowing that it was the last journey I'd ever make... at least, in one piece. |
That last paragraph in the 1987 version is a curious thing to delete; did Horowitz decide the reader was capable of working that out for themselves and didn't need it made obvious, especially given the clues in Palis' flat are less subtle in the revision? There is only one other change to this chapter, which perhaps further fuels the idea that Horowitz felt the original had been a little unsubtle:
It wasn't a pretty sight. Palis had come to a horrible end. But an appropriate one all the same.
The Fence had impaled himself on a fence.
* * *
So: The revisions to The Falcon's Malteser, which were limited enough that I was able to put pretty much all of them in writing, indicate that when Horowitz revisited the books in the late nineties, that was the one he was happiest with already, and the rewrite was chiefly concerned with getting rid of some extremely dated dialogue. The South by South East revision seems to be mostly linked to the fact that Horowitz had originally written the screenplay for the TV series and the book in tandem and he wanted to get rid of some aspects that didn't really work in prose -- leading to, amongst other things, an entire chapter and plot strand being taken out.
But Public Enemy No. 2 is harder to work out. Some of the more violent aspects are toned down, some areas are tightened, and various pieces of foreshadowing for the denouement are changed to adjust how subtle they are, but there's quite a few substantial rewrites or deletions of material that I think worked perfectly well -- and, in some cases, actually prefer to what replaced it. The 1997 revision is the same story, it's just -- for want of a better description -- had some of the finer details shuffled about a bit, as opposed to the minor changes made to the first book, or the total changes made to the third. A real curiosity, and if you really want to see all of the changes written down, I would recommend seeking out a 1987 printing.
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