Armstrong and Miller Time

When looking in charity shops I am principally hoping to find another batch of old comics, or maybe some Choose Your Own Adventure books, but I buy other stuff as well. Such as this:

Children's Hour was the second Radio 4 series from Armstrong and Miller, in which they starred as newspaper critics Craig Children and Martin Bain-Jones (characters the duo later reprised for their Channel 4 sketch show), and as the little episode guide on the booklet tells us, it was broadcast in December 1998 (in the 11pm slot, which will become quite important later on).

Hmm. There's got to be a story there.

Life and Limb

Shadow on the Sand is the fifth Lone Wolf gamebook, and also the conclusion to the Kai sub-series (also known at that point in publication as the 'basic rules' series, as it marks the point where Lone Wolf goes from initiate to Kai Master, and so unlocks a whole new set of Kai Disciplines to choose from). It is structured uniquely: instead of a single 350-section adventure, the game is split into two parts, running to 200 sections each, with section 200 of Part One directing you to turn to the start of Part Two and 201.

To cut a long (well, four-gamebook) story short, at the beginning of the book, Lone Wolf has travelled to the desert empire of Vassagonia to sign a peace treaty with the ruler, Zakhan Moudalla, but upon arrival your entourage discovers that the Zakhan has died, and his successor Kimah is in cahoots with the Darklords, plotting to kill you and destroy the legendary Book of the Magnakai.

In the very first section of SotS, you are accosted by the new Zakhan's elite bodyguards from the moment your ship docks in the harbour at Barrakeesh, and the choices you are given effectively boil down to: surrender and be taken prisoner, or run.

In the Hood

In October 2007, the BBC's Robin Hood TV series returned for its second series. Amongst a number of changes, the entire title sequence was completely overhauled, with a lot more colour, variety, shots of forest scenery interspersed with clips from episodes and whatnot. A visual summary of all the different credit screens would look more or less exactly like this:

Episodes 4, 5, 8, 9, 10 and 11 have an extra screen between the director and series producer credit for Jane Hudson, with the other production credits shortened slightly to fit it in:

This same title sequence was the basis for the one used in the third and final series. However, whilst Series 2 kept the same cast throughout, the regulars were constantly changing throughout for S3, and the opening was updated to account for this -- in fact, with two exceptions, the sequence was never the same two weeks running.

The Strangest Yeti

In the issue of the Beano dated 2nd January 1993, a terrible monster made its debut. No, it wasn't Hot Foot, it was the first edition of a story that was, for its first week only, called The Yeti, drawn by stalwart artist Robert Nixon:

This was the only edition to run to two pages (at least in the weekly comic), and with the status quo set up, future editions carried the full title of The Yeti with Betty:

Ice Jam

In the third Lone Wolf gamebook, The Caverns of Kalte, Lone Wolf is sent to the frozen wastes of Kalte to apprehend Vonotar the Traitor, the renegade wizard who has fled there and now rules over the Ice Barbarians.

At a certain point in the ice fortress, you will come across a stone door which, upon examination, will turn out to be a prison cell for Loi-Kymar, an elder of the Magicians' Guild. If you walk past this door without checking it, you will find yourself at section 276... from which point on the game is unwinnable.

Unplugged

No, it wasn't some weird dream you had, D. C. Thomson really did produce an entire comic based around the ultra-homely Bash Street Kid. Plug ran for just 75 issues between September 1977 and February 1979, after which it merged into the Beezer; its demise is often blamed on its considerable production values such as use of gravure painting, higher-quality paper, and more pages in technicolour than other D. C. titles, which made it almost twice as expensive as other comics of the time. (The paper used did seem to make this an easier scanning job, at least.)

Plug has been considered an attempt by D. C. to ape the style of the wackier comics published by rivals Fleetway (something they would later manage more successfully with Nutty), which probably accounts for the use of an existing D. C. character; many Fleetway titles had a character serve as the comic's 'host' (the most salient comparison being the eponymous Buster). I suppose the exact sequence of events that led Plug to be the lead is lost to time, but it's easy to imagine D. C. wanted the role to go to a pre-existing character, it made sense to promote a member of an ensemble, and Plug was the most distinctive character in that window.

The issue of Plug I have scanned in today to add to my growing collection of mayflies is one of the final ones -- the Christmas 1978 issue, number #67. So let's go!

Break Up, Break Free, Break Through, Break Down

‘Let the trial commence!’ commands a mighty voice, filling the hall with clamouring echoes. As one, the robed spectators rise from their seats as a shaft of light pours down upon the pinnacle, illuminating the outline of a man, white-haired and gaunt, seated on a massive throne of solid, gleaming gold. Suspended in the air above his head are two crystals: one as clear as a polished diamond; the other as black as the grave. A crackling arc of energy travels between the two and its flickering blue light sheds a ghostly shadow on the face of the seated lord.

‘Intruder,’ he says, his voice soft yet chilling, ‘you have come to Kazan-Oud with murder in your heart. Have not the cowards of Elzian promised to reward you for my destruction?’

A drone of dissent surges from the crowded tiers, drowning any answer that you offer in your defence. The lord rises slowly from the throne and turns to his baying minions, his hands outstretched as if to receive the adulation. As their ghastly drone grows louder, your eye is drawn to the clear crystal that hovers above the throne. A golden light now glows at its core. In a flash of understanding you recognize the object of your quest: here is the Lorestone of Herdos.

‘Your verdict, my children?’ cries the wild-eyed man, his voice now harsh and angry.

‘Guilty, Lord Zahda,’ the crowd howls in reply.

‘The sentence?’ retorts their master.

‘The maze!’ they scream. ‘The maze!’

So it comes to be in the seventh Lone Wolf book, Castle Death, that Lone Wolf is thrown into the Maze of Zahda. The maze cannot be escaped by playing it 'fairly', and attempting to do so will only result in Lone Wolf's death... something the player should probably guess from the kangaroo court that gets them thrown in there in the first place.

A Re-Run of the Comedy Series Set in Space

On the 7th January 1994, the very first episode of Red Dwarf, "The End", was repeated on BBC Two -- the first time it had been broadcast since its premiere on the 15th February 1988, something that has been attributed to Rob Grant and Doug Naylor's embarrassment over the quality of that series compared to what was to follow.

This run would not only continue past the first series, it would comprise 35 of the then 36 episodes, "Psirens" being skipped on account of Craig Charles' legal situation at the time; barring a couple of breaks for sports coverage, the show was transmitted weekly until the 28th October 1994 and the repeat of "Out of Time". So epic in scope was this all-encompassing repeat season that it was nicknamed "From Here to Entirety", although the name does not appear to ever have been used in listings magazines or onscreen.

Oh, you want to be more specific than 'a couple of breaks'? There was a break on 25/02 between "Kryten" and "Better than Life" for Winter Olympics coverage; a two-week break between the broadcast of "Marooned" on 15/04 and "Polymorph" on 06/05 for snooker; the jumbled repeat order of Series IV was interrupted on 17/06 and 24/06 for World Cup fixtures, including the opening match of the whole tournament, and again on 15/07 for the first night of the BBC Proms; and the similarly-scrambled run of Series V also took a break on 19/08 for Proms coverage, and on 09/09 for athletics coverage.