Something Stupid

You pull the lever down -- the fatal connection is made. The red lights begin to flash with a strobe-like rapidity, a screaming siren starts up and a great rumbling goes through the ship. From all around you a deep machine voice booms out:

REACTOR CORE NOW UNSHIELDED

TERMINAL MALFUNCTION IN T MINUS TWO MINUTES

DESTRUCTION OF VANDERVECKEN WILL FOLLOW IN T MINUS SIX MINUTES

Realizing that you've really done it this time, you run from the room, throwing yourself through the hatchway into the tunnel beyond. Will you take the left tunnel (turn to 21) or the right tunnel (turn to 281)?

* * *

Space Assassin is not one of the most highly regarded Fighting Fantasy books, even for one of the science-fiction titles in the range, but I've always had a soft spot for its sense of humour and flairs of creativity. I am also really drawn to game overs in interactive fiction which allow the player character to do something really stupid, and Space Assassin devotes a not insignificant number of sections to letting the player character enter a maintenance hatch deep in the bowels of the Vandervecken marked "WARNING -- EXTREME DANGER -- ENTER ONLY WITH AUTHORITY" and muck about with a control panel until they accidentally unshield the reactor core of the spaceship's engines (red lights pulsing and menacing tones sounding as you do so, basically making it as clear as possible without actually saying so that this is an unbelievably ill-advised course of action). The ship's reaction when the hero first starts messing with the controls is so ominous that they pause in fear for several minutes, and they're still given the option to carry on!

Drugs on E4

At the moment E4's Sunday-night Simpsons block, rather than running episodes in order like they do the other six nights of the week, is a theme night, with five episodes connected by something. Thus far they've had a Treehouse of Horror night, a night of Homer episodes for Father's Day, a Lisa Night, next Sunday is based around musical guest stars... it's a cute little touch, especially since each night has a name given to it which shows up in the EPG.

I was quite late to notice this, though, and only spotted yesterday what they'd run on 8th June.

Uh. Did they seriously run a theme night based around drugs? It's hard to see any other line of logic that could connect those five episodes. The Internet Archive to the rescue...

Riiiiiiiight. The theme is "weird and far out episodes". Nothing to do with drugs at all.

Sure.

Your Quest is Over

In 1982, the first Fighting Fantasy book, The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, was written, marking the birth of a series that would popularise the concept of adventure gamebooks in the UK. The book was co-authored by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone; this was accomplished by literally having Livingstone write the first half of the book and Jackson the second. After the two sides were bought together, Jackson noted that, quite by chance, there were 399 numbered sections in the book in total, and quickly added in an extra section to bring it up to a more aesthetically pleasing 400. This number immediately became the standard for all future books in the series, more or less, with the phrase "turn to 400" becoming synonymous with victory for readers.

Section 400 of The Warlock of Firetop Mountain has one more interesting thing about it.

The Warlock of Firetop Mountain is no more and you are now the owner of the Sorcerer's riches. At least a thousand Gold Pieces, jewellery, diamonds, rubies and pearls are in the chest. Hidden under these you find the Warlock's spell book and as you leaf through the pages, you realise that this tome is probably more valuable than all the treasure. Instructions are given for the control of all the secrets -- and the creatures -- of Firetop Mountain. With this book, unlimited power is yours and the safety of your return to the village is assured. Or, if you would prefer, you could remain as master of the domain of Firetop Mountain...

Vital Statistics

In the very first Fighting Fantasy book, The Warlock of Firetop Mountain, if you reach the battle with the titular Warlock and choose to fight him at his strongest, then he has SKILL 11 STAMINA 18. However, there are multiple ways of approaching this final encounter, including one that significantly weakens him to SKILL 7 STAMINA 12, and one where you can even bypass fighting him entirely. The book was co-authored by Steve Jackson and Ian Livingstone, but Jackson was responsible for writing the last battle.

Ten years later, though, Livingstone was the sole author of the sequel, Return to Firetop Mountain...

...and he remembered to give the resurrected Warlock the same statistics as his strongest possible version from the original book. A nice touch I'd never noticed before now.

My Way or the Driveway

Which is the first episode of The Simpsons to use the short version of the opening sequence, the one which goes from the title in the clouds straight to the driveway?

If you watch the episodes in sequence on DVD, or on Disney+, or on any other format you may care to think of, or look at any online reference list, then that will say it was "Lisa's Substitute" from late in the second season, originally broadcast in the US on 25 April 1991.

That episode was certainly the first one that was always intended to feature that intro. It was not, however, the first time it had been seen by those watching the episodes when they first aired.

Home Video

I usually save pictures from gigs for other parts of the internet, but these photos of Lucy Dacus' acoustic set at the Trinity Centre (matinee show) last Sunday turned out quite nicely, it was a fun show that really cheered me up, and, hey, they break up all the posts on the minutiae of British comics.

Fool If You Think It's Over

This is the April Fool-themed Desperate Dan story which took up the cover and first two inside pages of issue #2837 of the Dandy, dated April 6th, 1996. There are two very strange things about it, and one thing which turned out to be less strange than I first thought.

First of all -- how did the scriptwriter apparently forget about the existence of the month of March? Is this a deliberate mistake tying in with the nature of the story? That is a question I can't definitively answer, but the second very strange thing is: what is Dennis the Menace doing in this story, why does he disappear right after the front cover, and why does he look decidedly out of place with the rest of the strip, as if he was drawn in later? Obviously, yes, the explanation is that it's also April Fool-related, but if we look at the cover story of issue #2803 of the Beano, dated April 6th, 1996, all becomes clear:

A Major Milestone in Ludicrously Niche's History

I discovered this evening that this blog is now cited on the Wikipedia page for adventure gamebooks, and I would like it on record that it wasn't even added by me