The Blackadder Radio Times Synopsis Guide

Remember a while ago, I said that back until some point in the mid-nineties, TV producers used to write their own synopsises for the Radio Times, and the makers of sitcoms used to have a bit of fun with this? Well, the ones for Blackadder are particularly good. So much so, in fact, I’ve used the power of the BBC Genome to compile them all in one place for easy reading. Enjoy!

The Black Adder

The Foretelling

The first of six horrible situation tragedies to celebrate the 500th anniversary of the accession of Richard III. From out of the swirling mists of the Dark Ages comes a lone horseman, cursed from youth by a deformed haircut and sporting a particularly evil pair of tights.
Rowan Atkinson is The Black Adder
Also starring Brian Blessed as the King in this, the 15th-century equivalent of the Hitler Diaries.
Featuring Peter Cook as Richard III
"Thoroughly enjoyable" (The Sheriff of Nottingham)

Born to Be King

The second gruesome instalment of the bloodiest and most gripping sitcom since 1380. Rowan Atkinson is The Black Adder and Brian Blessed is The King in this grim tale of a ghastly little man's lust for power.
Treachery, murder and Morris-dancing break out in all their full horror when an orange-faced stranger arrives at court.
Warning: Parents are advised that young children should not be admitted unless accompanied by a sofa

The Archbishop

Another loathsome tale of history's premier video nasty.
Rowan Atkinson is The Black Adder, starring Brian Blessed as his lovably murderous father.
After two years of Good King Richard's reign, the landscape is littered with dead Archbishops of Canterbury. Edmund's cunning plan is to get his deadliest rival appointed to the vacancy.
“A welcome return to pre-Vlctorian values” (J. GOEBBELS)

The Queen of Spain’s Beard

The King's international treachery gives the hideous Edmund a chance to press his clammy body against one of Europe's most eligible princesses.
4 Shudders from the series are available from BBC Enterprises at £16.95 the pair.

Witchsmeller Pursuivant

The King is a bit under the weather with the Black Death. Witchcraft is diagnosed, and only one man can root it out. Frank Finlay stars as the repulsive Witchsmeller – cruel, corrupt and egg-stained. Has The Black Adder finally found a friend?
“Mon dieu, what a scorcher.” (JOAN OF ARC)

The Black Seal

The last thoroughly unwholesome adventure of the scummiest toe-rag in the Great Laundry Basket of English history.
In the final gesture of defiance, Edmund rides forth to seek out the Seven Most Evil Men in the land and returns with them to seize the throne. Only one man can stop him now: the man they call The Moorhen (or something).
“No- no, no. They've got this all wrong” (YUL BRYNNER)

Blackadder II

Bells

England 1560. The filthy genes of the Blackadder family have resurfaced in the melting pot of history.
Edmund, the bastard great, great grandson of the repulsive original is reasonably normal, then he meets Bob...

Head

England, 1561. Edmund finds himself in a spot of bother when he cuts off Sir Francis Drake’s head and completely ruins his weekend.

Potato

New Zealand, 1562. Edmund's two-year mission to seek out new potatoes; to boldly go where Sir Walter Raleigh has gone before...
“This is sit-com at its most thrillingly historical” (POTATO QUARTERLY)

Money

England, 1564. Trouble in store for Edmund when the vicar drops by unexpectedly and tries to shove a red-hot Poker up his bottom.

Beer

An embarrassing incident with a turnip, an ostrich feather and a fat aunt leads to a right to-do in the Blackadder household.

Chains

Very funny last episode in which the whole court get horribly murdered at the end again.

Blackadder the Third

Dish and Dishonesty

England, 1760-1815.
A golden age of wealth, power and discovery. But not for E. Blackadder Esq, butler to the Prince Regent.
The new Prime Minister Pitt the Younger (aged 13 ¾) plans to bankrupt the prince. As usual, Blackadder takes his master's side (and indeed his wallet). A rip-roaring tale of sex and politics, not to be missed for its libel-action opportunities.
"Brimming with corruption and deviancy, yum yum yum" (Hansard)

Ink and Incapability

England, 1760-1815. A golden age of English literature. But not for Gertrude Perkins (alias E. Blackadder Esq.) as Dr Johnson seeks the Prince's support for his new dictionary with adumbraceous results!
Dr Johnson: a harmless drudge
Butler: a loathsome menial

Prince: a nincompoop

Baldrick:

[NB: Unfortunately the Genome has mangled this listing and rendered it incomplete]

Nob and Nobility

England 1760-1815.
Revolution sweeps France, and Baldrick sweeps whatever Blackadder tells him to.
As heads roll under the blade of Madame Guillotine , one brave Englishman risks his life to save vital French aristocrats. That man is not Edmund Blackadder. In this exciting episode Baldrick cleans a potato.
“Bonjour, mon ami, deux croissants s 'il vous plait” – ROBESPIERRE

Sense and Senility

England 1760-1815.
A period noted for some really appalling theatre, to all of which the Prince Regent drags his butler Blackadder.
Anarchists lurk in every cupboard and actors in every coffee house. Which pose a greater threat to the Prince Regent? And more importantly, will his trousers stand the strain?

Amy and Amiability

England 1760-1815
Beautiful women, dashing highwaymen, effeminate haircuts: and much, much more...
A bride for the Prince Regent, a bridle for Baldrick and a bridlumble for Blackadder. Tune in to this week's gripping episode to find out what a bridlumble is (or not as the case may be).
“Not what I personally would call gripping actually” – DICK TURPIN

Duel and Duality

England, 1760-1815
Remembered by historians nowhere as the dates of E. BIackadder Esq, butler to the Prince Regent.
Will Edmund's Scottish cousin MacAdder save him from death at the hands of the fearsome Duke of Wellington, or is he more interested in Mrs Miggins's buns? The final episode: bursting at the seams with sex, violence, revenge and porridge.
“Hoots o ' laughter. Not a dry wee sleekit beestie in the house” – BURNS

Blackadder’s Christmas Carol

Christmas Eve, 1850.
Ebenezer Blackadder is a decent, kind, generous human being. As far as his loathsome ancestors are concerned, he is a wrong 'un. So, as soon as he is snuggled up in bed they decide to pay him a visit.
A seasonal tale of almost unbearable cuteness.
The Black Hole of Calcutta is currently appearing in Baldrick's trousers.

[Interestingly, this isn’t really what happens in the episode…]

Blackadder Goes Forth

Captain Cook

The Western Front, 1917: Two million men entrenched in the war - with no way out.
But one man has other ideas.

Plan A: Captain Cook
When General Haig unveils his new strategy to move his drinks cabinet nearer to Berlin, Blackadder volunteers to be Official War Artist.

Corporal Punishment

1917: two million men are doomed, but one man will be damned if he's doomed.
Plan B: Corporal Punishment

When orders for 'Operation Insanity' arrive, Blackadder breaches regulations by eating the messenger...

Major Star

1917: two million men are doomed. One man is damned if he's doomed.
Plan C: Major Star
The October Revolution in Moscow produced three appalling results: a cease-fire by Russia, an offensive by Germany and a Charlie Chaplin impression by Baldrick.

Private Plane

1917: two million men are doomed. One man will be damned if he's doomed.

Plan D: Private Plane
German machine guns in front, British firing squads behind – the only way out is up-tiddly-up-up.

General Hospital

Plan E: General Hospital
Ordered to find a spy in the hospital, Blackadder spots a beautiful nurse, a man with a strong German accent called 'Smith' and a chance for three weeks in bed.

Goodbyeee

Plan F: Goodbyeee
The final big push looms, so Blackadder goes mad.